As reported by The Week Paris Hilton has announced that she’s no longer a party girl but a woman with career ambitions. Accordingly, Paris will attend your party for a minimum of 20 minutes for the sum of $150,000 to $200,000 (depending on venue, I suppose – it’s not stated).

Now some may condemn Paris for this announcement, likening her to a social harlot. Me, I’m less judgmental – I think this announcement marks Paris as the World’s No. 1 Clueless Douchebag