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Benefits of solitude [message #84879] Mon, 03 April 2017 17:01 Go to next message
Singlow is currently offline  Singlow
Messages: 21
Registered: March 2017
Chancellor
Do you ever feel that too many people around you are 'fake' and that sometimes you would be much better off alone than in their company? I am starting to feel that way about most of my friends from childhood. Have I outgrown them?
Re: Benefits of solitude [message #84924 is a reply to message #84879] Sun, 09 April 2017 15:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Ssal is currently offline  Ssal
Messages: 67
Registered: October 2016
Viscount
I think that may very well be true and you have outgrown your friends. This happens sometimes when you take the time to work on your self and grow but the people around you stay the same.
Re: Benefits of solitude [message #84970 is a reply to message #84879] Mon, 10 April 2017 21:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Lily is currently offline  Lily
Messages: 23
Registered: February 2017
Chancellor
I believe that it's always a good idea to get to know yourself and to like and love yourself fully before you can expect anyone else to enjoy your company and most people fail in their relationships because they fail to grasp this one simple concept.
Re: Benefits of solitude [message #88023 is a reply to message #84879] Wed, 16 May 2018 05:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
SamW is currently offline  SamW
Messages: 31
Registered: March 2018
Baron
There are a lot of benefits to solitude and I seek it regularly. With reference to your friends from childhood whom you are now finding 'fake' that can happen, and I've experienced something similar. I don't know whether I'd use the word 'fake' - but things just seem shallow with some people with whom I once had meaningful relationships.

It struck me that I might seem more shallow (or 'fake') to them. The periods of solitude can reconfigure relationships and friendships that maybe we have begun to take for granted.


Sam
Re: Benefits of solitude [message #88135 is a reply to message #84879] Thu, 07 June 2018 14:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Kinsley is currently offline  Kinsley
Messages: 14
Registered: May 2018
Chancellor
It's possible that you've outgrown them. I don't think there's anything wrong with that either. I've grown apart from plenty of people over the years because we grew into different people. It's natural. I think solitude can be a great thing but it's possible to get too much of it. I was alone a lot for the better part of two years and it took me a while to get comfortable with being around people again. I swear that's when my social anxiety first kicked in.
Re: Benefits of solitude [message #88196 is a reply to message #84879] Sun, 17 June 2018 09:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Rusty is currently offline  Rusty
Messages: 67
Registered: May 2018
Location: Kansas City Missouri
Viscount
I think there's too many people much less people I do not wish to spend the time that I did in their presence with. All part of living I believe. I like taking hikes within the urban trails available to me during cooler weather. Some semblance of nature surrounding you seems to be soothing to the mind. And a good hike is invigorating to the body as well.
Re: Benefits of solitude [message #88950 is a reply to message #84924] Sun, 07 October 2018 10:26 Go to previous messageGo to next message
sawyer25 is currently offline  sawyer25
Messages: 124
Registered: July 2016
Master
Ssal wrote on Sun, 09 April 2017 15:18
I think that may very well be true and you have outgrown your friends. This happens sometimes when you take the time to work on your self and grow but the people around you stay the same.
I agree with you. Looking back, I think I subconsciously dropped some friends along the way because we seemed to be moving in different directions. It is better to have a few real friends than have a lot of people around you, that you aren't sure about. I love solitude and I think I have too much of it sometimes.
Re: Benefits of solitude [message #88954 is a reply to message #88950] Mon, 08 October 2018 17:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
gofar99 is currently offline  gofar99
Messages: 1353
Registered: May 2010
Location: Southern Arizona
Illuminati (3rd Degree)
Hi, I enjoy solitude from time to time. It gives me a chance to get to "re-know" myself. I also do find that many individuals are fake in that they will say and do things they think you want. I would much rather they say and do things they want and let me decide if I like it. Confused

Good Listening
Bruce
Re: Benefits of solitude [message #88970 is a reply to message #84879] Tue, 09 October 2018 12:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
mamoss is currently offline  mamoss
Messages: 123
Registered: May 2016
Master
One thing I have learned over time is that people appreciate it when you are true and real to them. Most of the 'friendships' out here aren't legit and true friends are few and far apart. Sadly, that is the harsh reality we have to contend with.
Re: Benefits of solitude [message #89024 is a reply to message #84879] Sun, 21 October 2018 10:23 Go to previous message
Rusty is currently offline  Rusty
Messages: 67
Registered: May 2018
Location: Kansas City Missouri
Viscount
Here's an interesting approach to solitude, from an article in BBC travel. Go to, or live in Finland. Finnish culture does not indulge in small talk, (which could eliminate quite a bit of boring phony conversation). To them according to the article, "The Finnish don't believe in talking bullshit." and one of their national sayings is, "Silence is gold, talking is silver". If you want get to know a Finn, take your clothes off and get in a sauna with them. "With clothes on the bets are off", a picture with a couple says. Think I'm going to put Helsinki down on my bucket list.

http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20181016-how-the-finnish-survive-without-small-talk
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