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Greeting strangers [message #83198] Wed, 03 August 2016 15:09 Go to next message
sawyer25 is currently offline  sawyer25
Messages: 157
Registered: July 2016
People tell me I have a split-personality; that I talk a lot but in some instances but remain extremely quiet in others. I am particularly very poor in starting conversations with people I am not used. I will greet them then it all ends there.

I like screening people a lot before I can let them into my circle. Is this a good or bad idea or people are just different?
Re: Greeting strangers [message #83328 is a reply to message #83198] Mon, 08 August 2016 22:58 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Thermionic is currently offline  Thermionic
Messages: 208
Registered: May 2009
In the world we live in today, I don't find it strange in the least to screen people before you get too close to them. AAMOF, it's just good common sense. Fact is, some people are nothing but 100% pure Grade A trouble on two legs, bar none.

I know that I can say some of my biggest mistakes and regrets in life have directly resulted from to being too close to people that I should have been avoiding like they were ebola carriers. Now that I'm older and have developed a much more keen eye for certain things, I steer a veeeeeery wide berth around certain types of people I encounter in order to avoid repeating those earlier mistakes. Live and learn.

I don't think there's anything odd about anything you mentioned, though some people may find it unusual. Here's why I say that:

I think I can tell which (well, within two!) out of the twelve basic personality types you have, simply by reading your post. If I'm correct, such behavior is pretty typical of your particular temperament. I guess a bit of an explanation is in order here... Laughing This is actually some pretty fun stuff.

There are four distinct types of personality/temperament. Every person has one of them as their primary temperament, and one of the other three as a secondary temperament coupled together with it, for a total of twelve possible combinations. This was thought to have been first observed and documented by Hippocrates more than two millenia ago.

You were born with your particular primary/secondary combination, which determines almost everything about you. Each type has its own particular strengths and weaknesses, and each is attracted to certain traits of the other temperaments and repulsed by other traits. Here are some traits typical to your dominant and secondary type (if I got 'em right, that is!):

You're a perfectionist, holding others and especially yourself to high standards (often unachievable ones in the case of yourself).

You're an organizer and a planner. When packing for a trip, you make a meticulous list and are 90% packed well ahead of time to leave.

You're highly detail-oriented, and can intensely focus on a single thing for long periods.

You love to read and learn, and enjoy science and/or other cerebral subjects.

Your chosen occupation most likely mirrors the above points.

You probably have a brainy or somewhat different hobby than most.

You much prefer spending time with one or two close friends than being in a mass social situation, and even often prefer quiet solitude to said close friends. You MUST have your alone time.

You're not the back-slapping, life-of-the-party, social butterfly, fast-talking used car salesman type AT ALL, but greatly admire their ability to do so even though you can only handle such people in rather small doses. Although, maybe a few times a year, for some unknown reason, you just get in a certain mood and become as extroverted, loud and chatty as they are, but it's short-lived and then you revert back to a more introverted persona. But, your normal, everyday chatty times happen with those one or two close friends.

You organize money in your wallet by denomination, with all the bills facing forward and right side up. You don't like sharp creases or the corners folded down.

You are easily discouraged in some areas of your life, but absolutely unmovable in others (see next point).

You will live and die by your beliefs and convictions, which are absolute and non-negotiable.

If somebody pushes your buttons, your tendency is more to quietly dig in your heels and be stubbornly uncooperative in an act of defiance, versus other temperaments that will usually retaliate in a hostile manner.

Back in the '90s, a friend had a great book on the four temperaments, Why You Act The Way You Do by Tim LaHaye. I don't know if it's still in print, but if it is it's just a small paperback that shouldn't cost but maybe $10. Talking about and identifying which temperaments those within our circle of friends were was an endless source of fun for us. He even taught some of it to his high school students, and they had a blast with reading each others' temperaments.

I'm sure a Google search for "the four temperaments" will turn up some neat stuff as well.


Re: Greeting strangers [message #83409 is a reply to message #83198] Mon, 29 August 2016 04:28 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Messages: 20
Registered: August 2016
I'm able to relate to your post quite well, sawyer25. I do, however, find it easier sharing my problems with perfect strangers. And thanks for the commentary, Thermionic; it was interesting.
Re: Greeting strangers [message #83513 is a reply to message #83198] Tue, 06 September 2016 02:43 Go to previous message
moss24 is currently offline  moss24
Messages: 107
Registered: May 2016
Thermionic, your post made a really interesting read and I think I relate to most of the traits you mentioned. I am particularly coy about talking to strangers and I try to really screen people before beginning to get close to them. At the end of the day, people will call you all sorts of names if you do not easily open up to new friendships but overall, I think it is important to stick to your personality. This will make life much much easier.
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