Do you ever feel that too many people around you are 'fake' and that sometimes you would be much better off alone than in their company? I am starting to feel that way about most of my friends from childhood. Have I outgrown them?
I think that may very well be true and you have outgrown your friends. This happens sometimes when you take the time to work on your self and grow but the people around you stay the same.
I believe that it's always a good idea to get to know yourself and to like and love yourself fully before you can expect anyone else to enjoy your company and most people fail in their relationships because they fail to grasp this one simple concept.
There are a lot of benefits to solitude and I seek it regularly. With reference to your friends from childhood whom you are now finding 'fake' that can happen, and I've experienced something similar. I don't know whether I'd use the word 'fake' - but things just seem shallow with some people with whom I once had meaningful relationships.
It struck me that I might seem more shallow (or 'fake') to them. The periods of solitude can reconfigure relationships and friendships that maybe we have begun to take for granted.
It's possible that you've outgrown them. I don't think there's anything wrong with that either. I've grown apart from plenty of people over the years because we grew into different people. It's natural. I think solitude can be a great thing but it's possible to get too much of it. I was alone a lot for the better part of two years and it took me a while to get comfortable with being around people again. I swear that's when my social anxiety first kicked in.
Rusty Messages: 1205 Registered: May 2018 Location: Kansas City Missouri
Illuminati (3rd Degree)
I think there's too many people much less people I do not wish to spend the time that I did in their presence with. All part of living I believe. I like taking hikes within the urban trails available to me during cooler weather. Some semblance of nature surrounding you seems to be soothing to the mind. And a good hike is invigorating to the body as well.
I think that may very well be true and you have outgrown your friends. This happens sometimes when you take the time to work on your self and grow but the people around you stay the same.
I agree with you. Looking back, I think I subconsciously dropped some friends along the way because we seemed to be moving in different directions. It is better to have a few real friends than have a lot of people around you, that you aren't sure about. I love solitude and I think I have too much of it sometimes.
gofar99 Messages: 1955 Registered: May 2010 Location: Southern Arizona
Illuminati (5th Degree)
Hi, I enjoy solitude from time to time. It gives me a chance to get to "re-know" myself. I also do find that many individuals are fake in that they will say and do things they think you want. I would much rather they say and do things they want and let me decide if I like it.
One thing I have learned over time is that people appreciate it when you are true and real to them. Most of the 'friendships' out here aren't legit and true friends are few and far apart. Sadly, that is the harsh reality we have to contend with.
Rusty Messages: 1205 Registered: May 2018 Location: Kansas City Missouri
Illuminati (3rd Degree)
Here's an interesting approach to solitude, from an article in BBC travel. Go to, or live in Finland. Finnish culture does not indulge in small talk, (which could eliminate quite a bit of boring phony conversation). To them according to the article, "The Finnish don't believe in talking bullshit." and one of their national sayings is, "Silence is gold, talking is silver". If you want get to know a Finn, take your clothes off and get in a sauna with them. "With clothes on the bets are off", a picture with a couple says. Think I'm going to put Helsinki down on my bucket list.
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