| Horror Movie Formulas [message #70925] |
Sun, 08 January 2012 20:55  |
GuitarStrings
Messages: 45
Registered: December 2010
Location: Ohio
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Baron |
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While I'm not the sort to go around watching every little horror movie known to man, I do like checking out new movies. I love to look for movies that will actually scare me.
Unfortunately, the more I watch recent "horrors" the more I find that they use the same formula over and over and over.
1.) If it's a group of people, they'll be wiped off one by one.
2.) Paranormal movies are always wanting to be the next "Sixth Sense" and try to explain the weak twist of an ending for the last 5 minutes.
3.) Say goodbye to cell phones or computers or anything electronic for that matter. They either won't work, are out of battery life, or try to kill you.
4.) The more gore there is the better.
5.) You never get to like the protagonists. They might start out normal, but once they start making the stupid decisions, not running when they should, and not carrying ANY weapons of any kind, you tend to wish for the killer to take them out.
6.) If there's a woman in the movie, she will be scantily-clad at least once if not more.
7.) If there's any type of attempt at a story, the movie will add some mini-romance plot and cue lovemaking scene.
8.) If you think you killed the killer, you'd be wrong. Set the dude on fire, smash him under your car, do something to make sure he's dead. The protagonists usually won't do it.
9.) Don't go out by yourself at night to investigate some weird sound with no weapon but your good looks. Normal people may be curious but at least they carry some kind of protection. Protagonists just head on out with a skip in their step.
10.) Horror movies always want to shock people. They'll add in some creepy CGI effect like a face in the window or something that flashes past the screen. If you use those in moderation, you can expect the audience to be nervous, unsure of when the next scare will pop out. Most horrors can't seem to get this equation right and lose their audience after the first half hour.
Am I right or am I right?
The time I burned my guitar it was like a sacrifice. You sacrifice the things you love. I love my guitar.
Jimi Hendrix
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| Re: Horror Movie Formulas [message #70929 is a reply to message #70925] |
Mon, 09 January 2012 10:21  |
j0ann3
Messages: 31
Registered: December 2011
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Baron |
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6.) If there's a woman in the movie, she will be scantily-clad at least once if not more.
6.1 There is a 50% chance that scantily-clad female will die while or after intercourse (most likely with the jock in the group)
Oh! Also, colored people die first. Always.
I had a friend who would drag me to horror movies all the time or force me to watch them at home. I was completely against it because not only do I dislike gore in any form, there are never any fresh ideas anymore. You always expect what's going to happen!
Joanne! xx
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| Re: Horror Movie Formulas [message #70934 is a reply to message #70925] |
Mon, 09 January 2012 19:47 |
GuitarStrings
Messages: 45
Registered: December 2010
Location: Ohio
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Baron |
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Haha, so true. If there is a colored person in the group and he's a sidekick character, he *might* survive a little longer, but not by much.
And yeah, I still like horror movies only because I really want one to actually surprise me. I haven't had that happen since The Sixth Sense, and that was a LONG time ago. It's a bad habit for me to watch them though because I get -so- frustrated at the "heroes". The majority aren't even people you want to see stay alive.
The time I burned my guitar it was like a sacrifice. You sacrifice the things you love. I love my guitar.
Jimi Hendrix
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| Re: Horror Movie Formulas [message #70984 is a reply to message #70925] |
Fri, 13 January 2012 15:47 |
j0ann3
Messages: 31
Registered: December 2011
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Baron |
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Haha I realized I used #6 twice. Oops.
A lot of the horror movies these days aren't that good. I watched Haunting In Connecticut, Buried Alive, Drag Me To Hell, not so good. Although Insidious was pretty clever. xx
Joanne! xx
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