Charming to the giver, but not the receiver. That sounds patronizing as all get-out. Not to mention just flat-out rude. If I were black and someone did that to me, I'd probably punch them in the face.
I don't even know if the giver considers themselves charming. Saying intolerant/judgmental things with a smile is, in my opinion, intentionally being patronizing. I don't know if I'd punch them in the face, but I don't think I'd be able to hold my tongue.