so in order to completely eliminate this problem, we need
one driver per frequency... so we need 20,000 drivers per cabinet
right? each handling 1 hz increments..

/ end joke

/ begin tales of the cript. Prepare for humor.

Many many moons ago, perhaps 13 years ago, I was obssessed with
car audio. Actually 20 years ago is when I started with a car
stereo system. I got tired of it and bought a used long bed 1 ton van
to put a prosound system in it using EV drivers. More is better! yum.

Ahh memories .. much has learned since then.

Things that come to mind from those years.

1. Used 2"x4" wood + 3/4" plywood to make an internal skelton
frame inside the van to make a sound proof chamber. I isolated the
wood from vehicle chassis using rubber feet. I stuff so many
bags of poly fiber between the van wall and wood wall. Dead chamber.

2. Built a rear chamber for battery and amplifier storage. I had to build a 6" thick wooden doors with 1/4 steel plates to thwart off
thieves. Did I mention I had 10 deadbolt locks and 8 inch nails
to form a spike stick, '''' cause I had a vent chamber to get rid
of battery fumes.. Don't want those pesky theive to crawl into the van,, lotsa spikes.. hehe

3. Gets funnier. I installed a bunch of air horns inside the van
and made another box mounted underneath the van with more air horns.
Air horns? yeah, I made my own custom alarm system and when the alarm
went off, it sounded like a friking frieght train..

4. Yep, there is more comedy. After all this, the van was weighed
down, had to get helper springs - doh, forgot that wood has weight,
forgot was gravity was..... or is....

5. So, after 1 1/2 years, I completed steps 1-4 above. Now I'm
ready for tunes! yah!

6. Took a piece of plywood and made a box in the back, well, the van
was a box at this point - haha so I mounted three EVX18B? 18 inch
woofers, each running 200w mono amp. Here is the yummy part,
I bought two giant EV compression horns that spanned the internal
width of the van, each running a 200w mono amp. For kicks
I threw in a couple of EV 15's. This was my temporary solution
for a quick sound system until I designed the real one.
I'm already broke at this point.....

Did I mention I took out the passenger seat and made a crazy rotating
console for the HU's and what not ? hahaha Want to ride in my
van? sure get in the back - hahaha

Oh, had the engine rebuilt, need to tow the stereo system
and since the van was ancient, it barely ran on it's own....

Shoulda seen the numerous runs of double O guage wire I ran for power.

Should seen the three 100A alternators I mounted in this beast.

Does the comedy end? No.....

I was designing on Autocad a horn loaded enclosure to replace
the bass section. Get this, sixteen 18" EV woofers. How do
I fit these? pound head on wall a hundred times.... sleep in
van with the tape measure.... make girlfriend angry.....

Howabout an "Isobaric horn loaded" design?
What is this? I don't know, I just did it on the cad system
and it fit! sweet.. I made a mock up of the horn using cheap
particle board with two 18", isobaric/horn loaded. One 200W
mono per woofer.

Hmm.. I design my own parametric equalizer and found the sweet
spot when testing this box out.. the sound of just two
woofers was punishing me bad, the box almost fell apart too..
.. drools .. what will 16 woofers do I think to myself ?
where do I get the money to finish this system ? I'm already
broke multiplied by 10 .......

Meanwhile, I'm just driving my ugly 1978 dodge van with rust
blasting my tunes and thrashing on people in public. One day
at work while eating lunch, the security guard (some young guy)
peeks into my van and wants to listen to tunes. I put in some
metallica and he started head banging in my van as if we were
at some show.. Whoa kemosabee, chill out bro........

Another memorable event was when I took some friends who played
in a band to Berkeley. Sure call me up to haul yer drum kits
and equipment 'cause I have a van!.. Ok fine.. I show up
at this hole in the wall joint with punk-ish type of bands playing.
Shortly a mob of people crowd my ugly van and seem to worship this
thing.. "It's the van, this is THE van" while they poke their heads inside tripping out on acid....

....
....

So where is the van today? I had to pick, girlfriend or van ?
hmmmm.
hmmmm.
hmmmm.
hmmmm.

I dismantled the beast, sold some of the wares (cry!) and got rid of
the van.

But, the evil me managed to secure some wares over the years
and like a pack rat, I have in storage nineteen 18 inch woofers,
sixteen of them are Earthquake (eminence 3" VC) woofers,
the EV horns and drivers, and I managed to get about 8 Hifonics
Zeus series 7 amplifiers...... What am I gonna do with this stuff?
It's been in storage for what seem EONS.. I wouldn't even use
this stuff today except for the amps and horns....

I have pics of this beast, perhaps I can scan them and put
them up on some site.. You prolly think I'm bs'ing.. heheheh

/ end insanity