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| Re: A guy walks into a bar, (the magic apples) [message #91800 is a reply to message #91715] |
Thu, 30 April 2020 15:12   |
Rusty
Messages: 1188
Registered: May 2018
Location: Kansas City Missouri
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Illuminati (3rd Degree) |
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Continuing the chasing the Covid-Blues series. The best jokes I think are ones that let your imagination fill in all the details without resorting to vulgarity. You can make it as vulgar as you like.
A man walks into a bar............
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and
sees that it's filled
to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten
thousand dollars in it.
He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"
" Well..., you pay$10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the
money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are
the three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10
which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or
less, and you can't make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in
the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your
bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You
have to take care of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I
won't do it! You'd have to be nuts
to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says,
"Where's the damn tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.
Tears stream down both cheeks
but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained
to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar
hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then
nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers
back into the bar. His clothes are ripped
to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.
He drunkenly says, "Now...,
where's that old woman with the bad tooth?"
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