Posted by Melissa Parham [ 68.15.192.219 ] on July 24, 2007 at 11:33:45:

> > Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

> >
> > DR. PHIL:
> > The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
> > realize that he must first deal with the problem on
> > 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the
> > problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need
> > to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by
> > not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding
> > 'NEW' problems.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > OPRAH:
> > Well I understand that the chicken is having problems,
> > which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So
> > instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes
> > and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
> > >>> give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
> > across the road and not live his life like the rest of
> > the chickens.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > GEORGE W BUSH:
> > We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
> > We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
> > the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or
> > for us. There is no middle ground here.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > COLIN POWELL:
> > Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
> > satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
> > ____________________________________________________
> > ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
> > We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
> > have not yet been allowed to have access to the other
> > side of the road.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > JOHN KERRY:
> > Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I
> > am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and
> > I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not
> > for it now, and will remain against it.
> > ___________________________________________________
> > NANCY GRACE:
> > That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You
> > can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > PAT BUCHANAN:
> > To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > MARTHA STEWART:
> > No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
> > going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market
> > to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
> > level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > DR SEUSS:
> > Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
> > To die in the rain. Alone.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > GRANDPA:
> > In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
> > road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,
> > and that was good enough.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > BARBARA WALTERS:
> > Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
> > listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
> > heart warming story of how it experienced a serious
> > case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
> > life long dream of crossing the road.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > JOHN LENNON:
> > Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
> > together, in peace.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > ARISTOTLE:
> > It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > BILL GATES:
> > I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only
> > cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
> > documents, and balance your check book. Internet
> > Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new
> > platform is much more stable and will never
> > cra...#@&&;^ C .. ...reboot.
> > ____________________________________________________
> > ALBERT EINSTEIN:
> > Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
> > move beneath the chicken?
> > ____________________________________________________
> > BILL CLINTON:
> > I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is
> > your definition of chicken?
> > ____________________________________________________
> > AL GORE:
> > I invented the chicken!
> > ____________________________________________________
> > COLONEL SANDERS:
> > Did I miss one?
> > ____________________________________________________
> > DICK CHENEY:
> > Where's my gun

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